Realms Trial: Toad Forced To Consume Fly Paste

 

Hear ye, hear ye, goode citizens of Blogtown. Welcome to Realms Faire 2013 and the Stockade Brigade, Word Wizards on Trial event.

To learn more about the Realms Faire, please go to Realms Faire headquarters HERE.

Events: Joust ~ Drench-a-Wench/Soak-a-Bloke ~ Stockade Brigade ~ Dueling Bards ~ Phasers ~ Masquerade Parade ~ Collective Performance ~ Castle Jumble ~ Dragon Hunt

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Ye Olde Realms Trial Rules:

1.  Prithee, keep order at all times.

2.  There will be no throwing of sticks or stones or anything resembling fecal matter.

3.  Spitting upon our worthy guests or other citizens is strictly forbidden.

4.  Commenters art awarded points based on ye best olde English.

5.  An bribe ebook or $5 Amazon gift card will be bequeathed by each prisoner.

6.  A $25 Amazon gift card will be awarded at the end of the week by Sheriff Gwen.

7. HENCE, ye must comment to win!

 

Let the trials begin!

 

*Sheriff Gwen rolls out scroll to read the charge* Upon a recent tip from a certain toad advocate, erm, I mean steadfast citizen of this most worthy realmdom, I did receive reliable information about Jeff Beesler, late of Washington state, now of Blogtown in the land of Realms, and most recently a guest of ye olde Realms Stockade Brigade, courtesy of her highness, Mistress Mary Pax, and overseen by me, Gwen, the honorable Sheriff of Realms. *runs out of breath and sucks in a lungful of air before continuing*

*ahem* As stated, it has come to my attention one Jeffrey Beesler did indeed commit toad abuse upon the publishing of his novel, Spell of Entrapment. A lowly, wretched creature, given into his care, and so-named Halscrad, was forced to eat atrocious concoctions betwixt the pages of said book.

Should you dare to visiteth the crime scene in the far off land of Amazonian cyberspace, go HERE, but beware the troll at the gate, a bribe toll may be extracted!

Aye, but the burden of proof lies with me, so anon to the evidence, painfully gathered from the crime scene:

“Going home seemed the only viable option. At least there she could confide in her one true friend, her toad. By now Halscrad had probably gone through the last of the wingless fly paste she had made for him before her departure. At the very least it had been a nice enough day to leave the window open. This would’ve let some wayward bugs flutter into her hovel, straight to their doom.”

 But Halscrad did fight back, as evidenced below:

 “Exhausted by the day’s excitement, along with finding no hint of Halscrad, Embekah dragged her feet toward her bedchamber. She almost bowed under the power of sleepiness but reached her cot safely.

Only when Embekah had unraveled the covers of her neatly-made bed, only when her eyelids drooped almost entirely shut, did her cheek brush against a slimy lump. Filling the air with a squeal, she threw her covers off. Heart racing, she zoomed to the door before catching her senses again.

Blasted toad!”                  

How plead ye, Sir Jeffrey?

 

How do I plead toward this fraudulent charge of toad abuse? Innocent, of course! Thou hast not noted in the very section of thy evidence that the window was left open for bugs to enter and feed Halscrad. Had thou continued further in thy investigation, thou wouldst have come upon the Indoor Forest, a piece of woodland magically contained in a single room of Lady Embekah Mare’s most humble abode. Also, had thou continued on to Chapter 9 of the tome, on day 54 of the Year of the Toad, thou wouldst have seen Halscrad able to pass through the Spell of Entrapment without the slightest trouble. And did thou see how the calendar is marked Year of the Toad? I highly doubt that such an honor would have been bestowed upon the toad were I truly guilty of your charge.

Also, Halscrad is quite fond of the taste of wingless fly paste. Thy charge is groundless and will likely be dismissed in the court of public opinion.

An indoor forest, ye say? That toadally makes sense. Well, *clears throat and blusters ineffectually* mayhap I proceeded prematurely. Couldst Sir Jeffrey be telling the truth? Or art his pretty words a brilliant cover-up?

 

What say thee goode citizenry of Realmdom?