Hear ye, hear ye, goode citizens of Blogtown. Welcome to Realms Faire 2013 and the Stockade Brigade, Word Wizards on Trial event.
To learn more about the Realms Faire, please go to Realms Faire headquarters HERE.
Events: Joust ~ Drench-a-Wench/Soak-a-Bloke ~ Stockade Brigade ~ Dueling Bards ~ Phasers ~ Masquerade Parade ~ Collective Performance ~ Castle Jumble ~ Dragon Hunt
To check out the stupendous Realms Faire Giveaways, go HERE.
Thank you so much to our sponsors for participating in this fun event - check them out HERE.
To learn more about the Realms Faire, please go to Realms Faire headquarters HERE.
Events: Joust ~ Drench-a-Wench/Soak-a-Bloke ~ Stockade Brigade ~ Dueling Bards ~ Phasers ~ Masquerade Parade ~ Collective Performance ~ Castle Jumble ~ Dragon Hunt
To check out the stupendous Realms Faire Giveaways, go HERE.
Thank you so much to our sponsors for participating in this fun event - check them out HERE.
Ye Olde Realms Trial Rules:
1. Prithee, keep
order at all times.
2. There will be no throwing
of sticks or stones or anything resembling fecal matter.
3. Spitting upon our
worthy guests or other citizens is strictly forbidden.
4. Commenters art awarded
points based on ye best olde English.
5. An bribe ebook
or $5 Amazon gift card will be bequeathed by each prisoner.
6. A $25 Amazon gift card
will be awarded at the end of the week by Sheriff Gwen.
7. HENCE, ye must
comment to win!
Let the trials begin!
*Sheriff Gwen rolls
out scroll to read the charge* Upon a recent tip from a certain ghostie,
erm, I mean steadfast citizen of this
most worthy realmdom, I did receive reliable information about David Powers King, late of Mountain
West, now of Blogtown in the land of Realms, and most recently a guest of ye
olde Realms Stockade Brigade, courtesy of her highness, Mistress Mary Pax, and
overseen by me, Gwen, the honorable Sheriff of Realms. *runs out of breath and sucks in a lungful of air before continuing*
Twas upon the first day (or thereabouts) in the month of
November, in the year of our Lord, two thousand and thirteen, said prisoner, *sheriff motions toward David struggling in the
stocks* Sir DPK, did in fact harbor, or cause the harbor of a spirit child.
*Said child stands grinning next to a
Christmas tree and winks at Sheriff Gwen before thumbing his nose at David*.
Maverick, the spirit child, twas meant to be safe in Heaven at Christmastime,
but instead, was forced betwixt the pages of The
Spirit of Christmas, a very special anthology, indeed, and tucked
neatly into the story called Brother
Christmas, by none other than David.
Powers. King.
*hisses from the crowd*
Here is my evidence:
“I bolted from my spot on the floor,
ran past the TV room, and headed down the stairs to my quiet, basement
bedroom—my own little man cave. I switched the lights on and plopped face-first
onto my bed, breathing shallowly. Finally, the display of sob stories was over.
A few seconds later, the door shut on its own. A boy stood in my room. He
looked about my age, and he was an exact match of the boy in that picture
upstairs.
“How’d it go? The same and sappy as
usual?” he asked.
I nodded at Maverick, the ghost of my
brother.”
How plead ye, Sir David?
Thou hast me all wrong, Gwen Milady!
Indeed, I kept the ghost of young Maverick from the other side for a time, but
when struggling as I did for a story set around Christmas, a story I both
volunteered to write for a worthy cause and had no idea what it would be about,
this dead lad graced mine idea bank and I had to include him. By all means, if
it will but help my defense, I sent him on his merry afterlife upon its conclusion.
What discomforts he endured I pray shall be forgiven by my attempt to include a
story young readers would enjoy in this yuletide
anthology, an anthology solely dedicated to The Office of
Letters of Light, along with all monies collected through sales
and donations, by which they normally operate. Now, if thou would be so kind as
to let me out of this stockade and have my charges dropped and good name
restored, I could lend thee a copy—at no charge …?
No charge, says ye?
Mayhaps we can strike a deal…what say the commenters, eh?
Hmm. Bribery does not smack of innocence to me. And the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
ReplyDeleteAs a first, I am considering that this miscreant may perhaps be guilty. However, his good intentions might mean that his punishment should be light. Wat say ye?
If I am to be condemned, I prithee a lighter sentence be made. I have a horrible tomato-in-face phobia. :)
DeleteI already have my copy of this worthy anthology. Forget Olde English as I sense a farce. This victim is taunting David and flirting with the Sheriff. What kind of evil is this, Call the church as flirtations with those of the afterlife are highly frowned upon in this time. What be next, Necromancy. I say arrest the ghost boy and question the Sheriff for letting this unholy behaviour go by without recompense! And until all is sorted David should be freed for he kept the child to create something wonderful and charitable while this 'ghost child' if that even be so, how long has he been dead. Long enough to flirt with live older women at least. For shame Sheriff, for shame!
ReplyDeleteOh, he is a precocious ghost, that Maverick! I have half a mind to say he hath poisoned the good sheriff against me. And if you read the whole story, you will see that he is released from our mortal plane. Oh, poor souls of Salem, I now know what it's like to be accused as you once were ...
Delete*snort* Flirting with thy Sheriff? Why, thee offend me, Mistress Sheena-kay!
DeleteHmm, tis a serious charge and with ghosties involved, how do we decide? The law doth not extend to them. But I am not the honorable Sheriff and so perhaps I am ignorant. Sir David had good intentions in his heart. Perhaps we could see the purity of that and the outcome. Get your promises he shall ne'er do it again and grant him mercy.
ReplyDeleteI offer that promise on the slight chance of mercy! :)
DeleteOh, ghosties doth enjoy their trickery yet it tis wrong to torment them. So it tis a difficult decision. Since the sun doth shine today, I'm inclined to be lenient.
ReplyDeleteThis brings me much relief. A walk in the sun would most certainly recover from this trauma! :)
DeleteIndeed good sirs (and ladies) I have partaken of this account, and I can attest, to my best knowledge that no premonitions or any other sort of otherwordly apparitions were harmed in the telling of this tale. Thus, I must side with Sir David and beg that you release him forthwith. I have knowledge that Sir David has an outstanding character and has been given the highest calling by the king. I know this having been knighted by his sword some previous months hence. I beg of you, dear lady, to unhand him before word spreads and you find yourself in the same position.
ReplyDeleteI thank you for your kind defense, Lady bennett! If I am indeed proven innocent, I prithee find no fault with Sheriff Gwen. No one needs be locked in the stocks this day. :)
DeleteAll monies collected were donated and the ghost child released and sent henceforth to Heaven nigh at the end of the tale? I pleadeth for mercy on behalf of Sir King. He hath benevolent intentions. Please releaseth him with alacrity.
ReplyDeleteSwift and sure, good Robin! Now tell that to the kind lad next to you, the one holding a tomato ... :)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIt is evident to me that Sir David meant no wrong. It is obvious he's innocent. I and my dwarves know him as a man of unquestionable honor. What would be of the Cosmic Table without him? Sheriff, set him free or I'll have to send the dwarves in a rescue mission that can go terribly wrong. Specially if there is beer and pork somewhere around.
ReplyDeleteThe man ... err, Dragon, has a point. You don't know what his dwarfs can do to gardens, Sherrif Gardner. :)
DeleteI'm afraid the ends (for a cause so worthy) doth not justify the means (the harboring of a spirit child). Maketh yourself comfortable in that stockade, Sir David. ;)
ReplyDelete*considers the "Long No" trope* ... NoOoOoOoOoOo! This doth saddens me, good Ilima. ;)
DeleteI say, let my boy go. You ought to be hailing the King, not keeping him in a stockade. So go ye out and yell, "Hail to the King." At which he may well reply, "How dare you hail while I am reigning."
ReplyDelete*summons his Bruce Campbell pose* "Hail to the king, baby!" Thanks for your defense, Pops! :)
DeleteTis apparent thy father tis the court jester, Sir David. Honor thy father, Sheriff Gwen always says! I release ye so thou mightiest release the spirit child! (After the Realms mob disperses a bit).
DeleteWilst I cannot condone the use of otherworldy wil o' the wisps, I say some reorganizing of disembodied entities makes not a crime worthy of tomato facery. Nay. I call upon thy good graces for a boon, and bequeath my stores of cheese coins to sate thy wrath. Let the man walk free!
ReplyDeleteI am grateful to your defense, good Crystal! Tomato facery is not a pleasant thing at all. :)
DeleteIf no ghosts were harmed, I say, "Set the man free!"
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sherry! I can attest that no ghosts were harmed. I wasn't told otherwise. :)
DeleteSir David is innocent, methinks. Tis not a crime to utilize a ghost who so willingly enters thee idea bank!
ReplyDeleteMuch obliged, Heather! One does not simply enter thee idea back without implementation. :)
DeleteAs a fellow Knight of the Cosmic Table, I would run to the end of de fence, nay the entire island to defend the defense of our brave Sir DPK.
ReplyDeleteHe is innocent, I say!!! Innocent!!!
(Can I go now... I have to go fix de fence... it fell down again... :)
I hath repaired a fence recently. As soon as I am freed of this farce, I could assist thee, Sir Mark! :)
DeleteUh...please, mercy for poor innocent Sir David. The wee spectre was released from this earthly realm!
ReplyDeleteIndeed he was! No paranormal investigators or eliminators were called, either! :)
DeleteGwen, I meant to tell you sooner, but I dedicated something to you on my Thursday post. I hope you like it!
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm honored Robin! Yay!
Delete